130729 08.22

Its dark outside. Cold and dark. About the cold I don’t really know because I’m inside on a train. On my way to Paris. Zürich has been hot all week, but today I left it raining.

Yesterday we went for brunch at a small café/ restaurant…

08.33 And now I know it’s cold enough outside for me to want to wear a sweater. Had to change train in Basel. Same platform. No complicated stuff.

Yesterday, brunch, I had crepe with cinnamon and apple and a bowl of Quark with fruits, berries and loads of honey. The others had a more “typical” breakfast with fruits, egg, cheese and bacon. Coffee and a fresh juice. (That reminds me that I would need a coffee, have been up since a couple of min before 06.00 and I fell asleep way too late.) Then we just decided to go swimming. Untere Letten. The current makes it fun to jump into the flood. No need to strain yourself, just go with the flow. Once again. This has been a health trip to Zürich.

Later, I went home to pack my things and my brother and T went to try to by a fan. They have been looking for a fan too long now. Everybody seems to be quicker, wherever they go, their out of fans.

Back to the city, we went to a typical Swiss restaurant, Johanni-something. Had a nice dinner – I had Spätzli with a mushroom sauce. And a beer of course. Ten back home and I tried to check out what to do in Paris. Have been there once, so now I’m looking for the different stuff. Have been looking at National parks, where I would be able to walk for one day. Any suggestions?

I just passed the border to France, already. From Zürich to Paris in a little more than four hours. Less than from Stockholm to Gothemburg. Feels just a little bit crazy.

I’m tired and it’s a little bit less than three hours left on this bumpy train ride. TGV should be better than this.

I am on my way to Paris. Yeah, a little bit crazy. A big chunk amazing.

Had croissant for breakfast. I guess it was meant to be.

130728 03.00

Have had an amazing day with my brother, T and my brothers friend F. We started with breakfast and then went into town to watch “Iron man” a threeathon race in Zürich and I am realizing more and more that I really want to start to move again. I want to start working out, somehow, because that makes me feel good in so many ways. 

After Iron man we picked up F and went to the Rheinfall, Eurpoes biggest waterfall and then to Rhein-something right next to it and swam and the others was sunbathing. I stayed in the shadow. I did learn my lesson yesterday when I burnt my ass. We went shopping for food and stuff for BBQ and then off to the riverside after bouncing back home, preparing food and BBQ. Just sat there with the sun setting, playing the Swedish game Kubb, and we brought our swimsuits so that we could go into the water a couple of times.

Went back home and watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons. I rarely cry. But for some reason this made me cry. I guess it reminded me of how precious life is and that nothing is for sure. In the end of the movie they say that “some are born dancers, some are born…”, but this is where I think they are wrong. You’re not born to be living a certain life. You choose, you're forced to choose between things and sometimes life gets in the way of your plans and choices. You have to adapt to the circumstances that you are given, and sometimes those circumstances are really restraining and sometimes they are really beneficial. I am not saying it is easy at all, and life seem to offer us stupid paths to choose from a lot of times. But the final decision is up to you. The final decision of how you want to live your life. We need people around us to support us in our choices and sometimes a helping hand, but the final decision is our own.

What if we were born into something and we didn't like it? Would we then be born to be miserable? I don't think I was born to do what I do, I chose it and in two years I might choose something else. I choose what makes me happy. For me, the meaning of life is to do the things that makes you happy as long as you do not hurt other people.

Tomorrow/ today/ Sunday, we’ll have brunch and just relax in Zürich, no excursions if we do not really want to. On Monday morning I’ll go by train to Paris.

Hello my French brothers and sisters.

I will stay with my beloved M. See you soon.

 

130726 17.55

Zürich. Back in my brothers’ apartment after acting holiday sunbathers in a place nearby Wipkingen, Letten it’s called. This day has been my first beach holiday day this year. Kind of nice actually. Burnt my ass though. Been laughing a lot. Had ice cream. Now we’re just waiting for my brother to get home from work, and we’ll see what fun we can come up with for the night.

I have been here since Monday evening when the train arrived at 23.20 to Zürich HB and I stepped off the train to in order to jump into the safe arms of my brother, then my mom, my dad and my brothers girl. After the hospital visit it was kind of nice to be taken care of by my family. Just miss my sister.

Been writing to Á after I came here, we’re talking about everything and how much fun we had together.

My brother is working a lot this week and I and his girl, T, are hanging out during the days. Slow days in the sun and I am truly on a health trip to Zürich. Directly from a hospital to a sunny Zürich where I am eating healthy, going for power-walks and getting tanned. No alcohol yet. My last 500mg of antibiotics tonight.

On Tuesday we hung out with my parent's and walked around in Zürich in the sun, had lunch, had coffee, walked, went shopping, back to my parents hotel room and then dinner to celebrate my brothers b-day. He choose a completely vegetarian restaurant (I think it was something he wanted to show me). It was really cool and the food was amazing. Hiltl. I couldn’t have been happier.

 



On Wednesday me and T went on a morning walk. Both woke up when my brother was going to work. I could not sleep and I had been working until late and had a lot of stuff in my head. Me and T had breakfast and went to the Museum für Gestaltung, where they right now have two photo exhibitions, René Burri and Martin Parr. René Burri is the photographer that took the famous picture of the cigar smoking Ché Guevara and Martin Parr is a British documentary photographer. Really nice exhibitions, but the place was hot as hell and we couldn’t bring our water bottles. I really did enjoy the exhibitions despite the heat.

In the evening we went to play the Swedish game “Brännboll” with some of my brothers friends and colleagues. BBQ and games, fun night. Then home and sleep.

Thursday we went in to town and had our day of shopping. Bikinis and sandals. Needed it. But I think I should put the shopping lid on now. Can’t afford to spend money on shopping, need to spend it on food, and I can’t bring it all with me. Have a heavy enough bag already. After shopping we went to the water near where day live and sunbathed and dipped our bodies in the water. Went home and my brother stopped working and we had homemade pizza. Yummie. Loads of stuff on it. 
 

DSC09584, originally uploaded by enchans.

Finally sent my CV to a company in Berlin, we’ll see. I need to finish one of two project plans and book some meetings and keep on planning for the fall. Working vacation. Business and leisure.

I am almost getting to understand Swiss German. Almost. Been listening to people talk, sounds crazy.
Time for a shower.

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130722 On a train to Zürich.

On a train to Zürich. Through Germany., originally uploaded by enchans.

130722 18.29
You can really see the landscape changing. That’s one of the parts I love about Travelling by train.

Just entered Germany from Austria and in five hours I’ll be in Zürich where my brother and also my mom and dad will meet me at the station. Passed a town called Traunstein. Amazingly cute. I might come back one day and take a look around.

If you did read the last post I should tell you that I left the tube in Salzburg. And that I am on antibiotics and that I feel much better. Though every time I enter a train toilet I get a subtle feeling of panic and like I want to throw up. And I’m still afraid of that my face would get swollen again

Slept for a while. Woke up. Slept again. 20.58. Right now we stopped in St Anton am Arlberg.

And the two last days in Budapest?

130720 10.30
She took me to a Hungarian pub-crawl yesterday. Yeah, her pub-crawl. Amazing places and amazing that loads of things here reminds me of my childhood. A lot of things remind me of my grandma. Right now I am sitting outside in the sun by Ás house. It’s outside of the city center and how we got here with her car yesterday in the middle of the night after both had been drinking..? One can call a driver to drive your car for you. It’s crazy and I was so amazed yesterday when we sat in the car and a stranger came out of another car came up to Ás car and sat down on the driver’s seat. We drove away. Following the other car which led the way to Ás place. I was amazed, I wanted to ask for his name, he didn’t understand. I wanted to chit chat with him, telling him he was a really good driver, but he didn’t understand. À told me that I should stop trying because he does not understand English. I turned to her and told her how much I was amazed. I got carried away. Haha.

In the backyard of Ás house in the sun. Listening to her neighbors talk. Hungarian. A totally not understandable language. But it’s interesting to listen to.
Want to go to a museum today. National of a Photo gallery. The national has an exhibition with Hungarian masks. A temporary. The photo exhibition is a famous news photographer.

Tomorrow I want to take a boat ride on Danube before I leave this town and this country. It feels weird to travel like this. I am looking forward to see my brother in Zürich. And my mom and dad are there now too until the 24th.

Everything reminds me of grandma. I walk into a room in this house and the overall impression feels like stepping into a time warp. I wouldn’t stop talking about it yesterday. Even the smell. Familiar. And lovely. Old. Safe. Comfortable. At home.

130722 21.13
We never got to any exhibitions. And no boat ride either. We went to her parents place and said hello to her dogs and then we went in to town and there was some kind of festival/marketplace, on Buda side of the Danube, with music and small stands with Hungarian food, liquor and stuff.

We stayed there, had Langos, a Hungarian Pastry and walked along the Danube. We dipped our feet in the river, first time ever, for both of us actually. We left the market and went to stroll along the Danube looking for a boat to catch, too late, and instead we sat down on a staircase facing the river and talked for hours.

Into the city center and we managed to drink a lot of Hungarian liquor in as many bars.

On Sunday we went to a local store and bought loads of Hungarian things for breakfast and I ate most of it actually… I bought one of those amazingly big loafs of bread that I had seen in many places. I knew I had to have one. Slow day. And fun. We went to the railway station, Á had a frappe and I had a milkshake. After that I stepped on the train and slept before the pain started…


The air is getting thinner. My water bottle is creasing.

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130722 12.50

It’s Monday and I was supposed to arrive in Zürich this morning. Left Budapest yesterday 10 past seven in the evening and fell asleep almost immediately.

When writing this I’m on a train to Salzburg and I feel the tube in my arm for the “drip” which they gave me at the hospital and which they today forgot to take out before I left. I guess I was too fast leaving the place. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. Nothing. Wanted to leave that place. 

Tatalánya. A small town in Hungary. Twenty min after the dizziness, the feverish feelings and the pain started the train slowed down and stopped there, Tatalánya. I didn’t know where I was. Could hardly breathe because the pain in my stomach was unbearable. I had to get off the train.

Woke up not more than one hour after leaving Budapest an Á. When I left Bp I was perfectly fine. When I woke up I felt like I needed to move, bathroom. An unpleasant warm feeling swept through my body. Stood up and went to the toilet. The train left Bp not too long ago, so the toilet was still relatively clean. Felt my body temperature rise. Washed my hands and felt like I wanted to throw up. Dizzy and warm. Was I going to faint? Pain started to spread from somewhere from the lower part of my stomach. Why? Was I getting my period? Maybe... I’ll just wait here for a while and recover. I’ll be better in a minute. The thoughts went through my head.

But it didn’t get better, it got worse. Sweating. Cold and warm and I had to sit down. Almost lay down on the train toilet floor. Help me, the words was running through my head… Someone was pulling the door, but I could not even manage to say anything. I was just struggling to fight the pain. Better. No. Worse. Felt like the train was slowing down. The pain was like rays stretching down towards my knees. Should I get off? Do I really need help? Will it maybe get better in a minute? Am I being silly? Hyperventilating. Didn’t want to move, but couldn’t stop moving. Help me.

The train stopped. Fuck. I have to get help. Had no idea when the next stop after this would be. And what if it actually would not get better? Not here. Not now. Why. Stupid life. Hungary. Hope someone speaks English. German. DamnDamnDamn. Managed to open the door. Someone in the way. Sorry, I don’t… feel… Whispering. Pushing the words. Railway conductor. Help. I’m in pain. It does not stop. Help. The conductor looking confused. Help.

They acted fast and an ambulance was on the way. I was shaking and sweating. Help me. The hospital was close. Woman: That’s wrong? Can you tell me? I don’t think they will speak English at the hospital. Pushing the words again. My bag. Had the seat nr written on my hand. Pointed at it. Bag. My bag.

Bench outside, someone came with my bag. The train left. Ambulance personnel came. No. No English. Hardly German.  Pain. Gave them my passport. Shaking. Called Á. Talk to them please. Á is an angel. Her being able to talk to them and translate during this first moments helped me a lot. Stomach, no, not pregnant. No, no allergies. No. Nothing. Have never felt like this before. Still shaking. Now the pain started to come and go in intervals. Breath when you can. In between the sessions of brutal pain. They were going to take blood samples. Started with blood pressure. Fine. My heart. Fine.  Someone in the next room was screaming. Giving away grunting sounds. Hardly human. He was dying. They left me.

The pain came less often. I started to feel that there was something wrong with my face. Stiff. Like swollen. I found my small pocket mirror. Shit. My face had swelled. Could hardly recognize myself. Hah. I laughed. Life. Fun thing. They came back and gave me something to make it better. Nothing happened. Plastic tub in my arm, “Drip”. Slowly parts of my face got better, and at the same time it felt like it spread to my scull and towards my throat. F, my doctor checked on me all the time. “Breath ok?” – Ja.

The nurse spoke little German. We communicated. I am glad I’ve studied German, because I don’t know how I would have managed this trip without it. Bloodsamples. All looked fine. My face and the raches on my shoulders and my arms started to look better. They asked, they thought my face looked fine. Hell no, I could feel that it was still swollen. “Besser, nicht gut. Nicht wie normal.”. My throat was fine though.

Asked for ultrasound. They did. Dr Fogel did the ultrasound. German speaking, totally fluent, probably mother tongue. The “walls” of my bladder was swollen, that’s why. That’s why this happened. Drink. You have to drink more. Water. “Antibiotica Montag. Morgen. Schlafen jetz. Besser Montag, gehen zu Hause Montag.” I stayed the night.

I was in contact with my parents and Á during the whole time. 

At 5 am I woke up. The nurse came again:

-          Besser?

-          Ja, glaube es ist besser.

I didn’t know. I thought it was better. But I didn’t know.

Fell asleep again and woke up when a new patient came and joined me in the room. Fell asleep and woke up when a new nurse poked my back with her stubborn fingertips. Felt like she threw the insurance papers at me and then she left. It was written in some kind of English.

I felt better. I wanted to leave. People came and left. The time passed by. It was 10 and I was fed up with waiting. Went out to find someone to ask. No one. And no one came to collect the insurance paper. Went out again. Herd grunting patients. In pain. Getting better. People talking. Found a nurse. “Was passiert? What am I waiting for?” Heard them talking about the Swede. They came with copies of the documents with test answers and I managed to get them to give me another copy of the insurance paper. Dr F found an English speaking nurse who came and told me where I could find the train station. And the Farmacy. Confusing.

Started to walk. Confused. And asked two nurses on my way to the Farmacy, where is it? No English. No German. I showed them the receipt for the farmacy. “Schwede.” We laughed. One of them went with me to show me the farmacy. Thanks, Kesiseipe.

Farmacy. Trainstation. Food, water. 20 min and I can take the train, one stop to Zürich. Crazy lucky. I managed to get on the train. And even a seat. Hope I will be able to keep it.

That was interesting. The end of my visit to Hungary. And I still have a tube in my arm.

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